The Comedy Vault – Only Fools And Horses Christmas Special.

Only Fools And Horses Christmas Special (BBC1, 1981)

I thought that I would review the first Christmas special of Only Fools And Horses, which was shown shortly after the conclusion after the first series on 28 December 1981 (the first special on the actual day was the third in 1983). This episode is rather significant because firstly, a lot people might not realise that they were making Christmas specials as early as this, and also, little did they realise that for the next 15 years or so the specials would be the centrepiece of BBC1’s Christmas schedule, doing increasingly well in the ratings, also extending in length, and featuring more ambitious ideas.

The first special “Christmas Crackers” might come across as very modest when compared to the later ones, and it was only 35 minutes long, but this was at just about the only point in the show’s history where its future was uncertain and believe it or not there was a small chance that this could’ve been the final episode. A successful repeat run confirmed we’d be seeing a lot more of the Trotters though.

It’s time for Christmas dinner, although you get the feeling that Granddad would rather have his usual cheeseburger, because he doesn’t want too much fuss, and Del Boy and Rodney fancy having a right old knees-up down the pub. Everything is coming along nicely, the potatoes are really well done, there’s some “green stuff”, the gravy’s been strained, the turkey still has the giblets inside, and the pudding is all burnt. It’s the Trotter family tradition, and the only thing that gets Del through it is the thought that this time next year he’ll be a millionaire.

Del then does what most people did late on in the day back then – fall asleep in front of the TV (or two TVs in this case) showing some circus thing with the Christmas Radio Times (the show appeared on the cover of the 1985 Radio Times double issue, along with NME, in what must be a unique double). Rodney can’t believe it and wants to go down The Monte Carlo Club. It might not be Jangles as far as leading early-80s clubs go, but people could still have a really good time. It’s either that or watch The Sound Of Music with a beer.

Off smartly-dressed Del and Rodney go, insisting that they are “The Peckham Playboys”. Del bumps into a mate called Earl, even though I don’t think he was ever seen or referenced again (it is notable that there are no appearances from the regulars such as Boycie and Trigger in this episode). He’s been having some trouble after his dad was in the pub and the glasses went flying everywhere. Del is sorry to hear that, while everyone in the background is doing a dance to “Wordy Rappinghood”. Needless to say, their attempts at pulling a few ladies fail miserably. These specials will get more exciting as the years pass.

Merry Christmas!

Game Show Memories – Stars In Their Eyes Christmas Special.

Stars In Their Eyes Christmas Special (ITV, 1994)

It’s time to have a look back at another Christmas special, well it’s that time of year again. This special was hosted by Matthew Kelly, who had become the new host in 1993, and left in 2004. Although Stars In Their Eyes can be classed as a game show, this special didn’t contain a competitive element, as some of the most memorable performers were invited back to go through those famous doors again and bring us some festive cheer. It was much more interesting than the endless celebrity specials the show eventually got bogged down in.

Matthew wore a rather spectacular waistcoat even by his own standards. It was clear that this was a special occasion, as there was a live studio orchestra, who usually only appeared for the series grand final. There were also plenty of decorations around, and the studio audience had their party hats ready. You’d be seeing musical stars perform together that you’d never previously thought possible, partly because they weren’t the real singers, but you’ve probably realised that. Here’s some of the highlights.

As we’ll see, it’s not only the singers that we are going to see on stage, because one performance includes a nativity scene. This really is going to be an exciting show, and we are then offered the unique combination of Madonna and Cilla Black, it is a shame that they never really did do an album together, I’m sure many people will think after seeing this. Matthew promised us that this will be a special with all the trimmings, and it certainly seems like it.

Then we have a Cliff Richard impersonator with his take on “Mistletoe And Wine”, which would you believe was the biggest-selling single in the UK in 1988. This was still many years before “The Millennium Prayer” came along. Then it’s time to get ready to rock as the likes of Meat Loaf and Billy Idol take to the stage to do their thing while Elton John whips out his piano, and everybody really is in party mood now.

How can you finish off such a special? Well you bring on Elvis, the King Of Rock ‘N’ Roll, being portrayed in his young pre-hamburgers days, alongside none other than Bing Crosby. Well they don’t really make them like that any more. And then everybody gathers round at the end to say a big thank you and wish viewers a Happy New Year, as Matthew opens a big bottle of champagne and promises us that he will be back with a new series soon, which is how all specials should end.

The YouTube Files – Top Of The Pops Christmas Special.

Top Of The Pops Christmas Special (CBS, 1987)

I know that another Christmas has recently been and gone, but I found a special on YouTube only about a week ago that I thought was worth reviewing, and I didn’t want to wait almost a year until December to do it, so here it is. Top Of The Pops has traditionally been shown on Christmas Day in the UK for many years (and now that the regular weekly edition has ended, it continues as specials only).

When the American version launched in 1987 on CBS in a late-night slot, it ran for only about half a year, and this was the first (and only) Christmas special, which is an hour long. The UK version would usually feature a look back at the biggest hits of the year and reveal the Christmas Number One, but this version is rather different, it doesn’t even feature a chart.

It begins with some of the acts that are going to perform on the show who reveal what Christmas means to them. They all seem to be sat in a special set containing big armchairs, trees, and lots of decorations. We then go into the opening sequence which features a rather bizarre remixed version of “The Wizard” that I’ve not heard before, as Gary Davies (who contributed to the US version, but in the UK studio) introduces the line-up.

The host as usual is Nia Peeples along with a rather excited studio audience (it seems that this edition is actually titled Top Of The Pops: A Very Special Christmas). Some of the biggest stars in the business are going to feature and perform some of their favourite Christmas songs. We began with Michael McDonald’s version of “White Christmas”. He’s won a Grammy, you know.

Nia then remembers her Christmases as a child in Texas, and it’s beginning to get all rather syrupy. Then we have John Cougar Mellencamp and his daughter. There are also a few pre-recorded Christmas messages from pop stars, where the Top Of The Pops symbol has been altered to say “Top O’ The Season”. Sacrilege! Then we have Kenny Loggins, followed by a U2 performance not in the studio.

Then there’s The Judds, a mother/daughter country duo that I don’t know much about, I’m fairly sure that they have never had a hit in the UK, and they perform “Winter Wonderland”. Run-DMC are about to do something very special, and they even get Santa himself clapping along. Then Sting (again not in the studio) performs a traditional carol that he’s always loved.

Back in the studio, it’s started to snow as the wise and witty group The Bangles perform “Hazy Shade Of Winter”. We finish off with Stevie Nicks (alongside Robbie Nevil) and “Silent Night”. The show ends with everyone gathered on stage, no-one can believe how wonderful it’s all been, and they all perform “We Wish You A Merry Christmas”, which isn’t embarrassing at all. Cue the credits!

The YouTube Files – The Tim Vine Christmas Present.

The Tim Vine Christmas Present (Channel 5, 1997)

It’s Boxing Day, hello again. When Channel 5 launched in 1997, their very first show was co-hosted by Tim Vine. He went on to host that channel’s cheap but cheerful game show Whittle (and Fluke which was on Channel 4 around the same time). I have always enjoyed his comedic style of fast-moving daft puns, and he has definitely made many shows worth watching over the years.

So at the end of 1997 he was given his own hour-long Christmas special by Channel 5, one of the very small (too small!) home-made comedy shows for that channel. I do remember watching some of it at the time and thinking it was good fun, so I was pleased to discover that it had recently turned up in full on YouTube. I felt it was worth reviewing here.

The Tim Vine Christmas Present was hosted by Tim at home (well it seemed to be his home, apparently he can fit a rather rowdy studio audience and a camera crew into his front room, how strange). It’s snowing outside, and this was going to be a show packed with jokes, music, and general silliness. Example joke: “I actually lived in an advent calendar. It’s freezing at the moment because most of the windows are open”. That’s the kind of standard we’re at.

It’s about ten minutes into the show, and the audience are now so helpless with laughter that Tim can barely get a word in, maybe they were full of the Christmas spirit. He then got a little distracted as he remembered the time he got toothache in August, but he cheered up when he found his lost cushion in a piano. Then some pupils from Tim’s local school come on to perform a song, and they all get a present as a treat. However, he didn’t try and do “pen behind the ear” at this point.

Tim really likes the magic of Christmas, he then plays some games, puts on a pantomime in 30 seconds, and also takes a look at life at a Christmas cracker factory. He was then joined by some celebrity guests, including Sarah Greene who offered some Blue Peter-style ideas for making your own presents, and that fat bloke who used to be in EastEnders.

By this point, Tim informs us that if you are stuck in a tree, you should play Hide And Seek with a squirrel. Tim and friends then all gather round to end the show with a special song about just how great Christmas can be, which was described as “sickly” by one critic. Tim had a good time though and promised to return next year, but unfortunately this show turned out to be a one-off. He would go on to further success though including The Sketch Show and Not Going Out, and all these years on it’s still a pleasure to see him on TV.

Game Show Memories – 3-2-1 Christmas Special.

3-2-1 Christmas Special (ITV, 1979)

I wanted to review one more Christmas special, so I thought that I’d take a look at another game show. 3-2-1 is a show that I have found interesting over the years, and for me the famously nonsensical clues are arguably not the strangest thing about it. There were several Christmas specials and I planned to review the one from 1988 but I couldn’t find it online.

By this point, 3-2-1 had been running for a decade, and this was the final edition, partly because its old-school variety and game mishmash had become rather outmoded by this point. Unsurprisingly, host Ted Rogers was very disappointed that the show came to an end, and he wasn’t seen on TV much after this, but put it this way, there is no way that this show could’ve continued into the mid-90s.

This is because, as I have said before, this genre became extinct on TV by the early-90s which I do find fascinating, where now for all those jugglers, acrobats, and crooners? So instead, I thought that I would go a little further back in time and review the 1979 special which was repeated on Challenge a rather long time ago. This is before I came along and it’s only about a year into the show’s run, but let’s see if any sense can be made of it.

The special is celebrity-packed and has something of a Dickensian feel. Ted comes on to a very pleased party hat-wearing studio audience who have all had their turkey, and we are promised that there’s going to be an hour of family fun. The real star of the show though of course is Dusty Bin. The three couples are ready to play, I hope they’ve realised what they’ve let themselves in for.

In the first round, they’ve got to earn some money. If they give a wrong answer though, there’s a terrible joke from the resident comedian Mike Newman! Angie and Eugene take the lead, just ahead of Paul and Wendy. Veronica and Richard end up eliminated, but they do have £200 (and a Dusty Bin!), and now it’s time to go into part two, that begins with a elimination game involving Christmas puddings against the clock, what exciting stuff. The eliminated couple get their money, a Dusty Bin, and a photo frame (which if they’re lucky will even contain a photo).

Angie and Eugene make the final. Then it’s time for the first Dickens-themed sketch, with Terry Scott. All the clues are inside a cracker that has to be pulled open. They’ve no idea what it could mean, there’s a surprise. Then after a song, there’s another clue. Now it’s time for them to reject a clue, even though they’re none the wiser. But it’s a nice one featuring nine different prizes, and Ted can’t believe it.

Then there’s another terrific Dickens sketch, with Bill Maynard. It’s time to reject another clue, and now the cutlery’s gone. They got married nine weeks ago, they could’ve done with that. Oh dear. There could still be a car on offer though. Then we have one final Dickens sketch, with Wilfrid Brambell. They’ve now rejected a Christmas hamper, that was another nice one. All that remains is possibly a car and the bin, now is the big decision. And well… they reject what did turn out to be the car and are crestfallen, meaning they’ve won the bin for Christmas. What an unexpected downer to end this special on. And that’s why 3-2-1 was such an odd show.

Merry Christmas!

CITV Memories – Zzzap! Christmas Annual.

Zzzap! Christmas Annual (CITV, 1996-1997)

As Christmas is coming (yes, really), I thought that I would do something a little different, and review a Christmas special of a TV show. One of my most successful pieces in recent years has been my look back at the CITV show Zzzap!, the show that featured the crazy comic characters that came to life. That one attracted a lot of interest, and a fansite even linked to it. There are clearly still a lot of fans out there. So I thought, why not take a look at a special variation of this show?

As well as the regular weekly editions, real comics would bring out special editions in summer, and an annual at Christmas, so it only seemed right for Zzzap! to do the same. The first of these was in 1996, a few years into the show’s run. It featured all of the usual characters, Cuthbert Lilly, Smart Arty, The Handymen, and Daisy Dares You. What was a little different though was that all of the characters appeared together in a house.

I don’t know if this meant that they actually all lived together, or they simply all wanted to gather for a big Christmas party. Zzzap! was of course a show that featured no dialogue, apart from the occasional groan (and these were provided by Neil Buchanan who played Smart Arty and was also one of the producers). I’m not that sure what he’s up to nowadays, but it was always enjoyable seeing him on CITV.

For this show there were a few special sketches made (accompanied by some suitably festive music), such as the characters wondering what presents they would get from Father Christmas, having a kiss under the mistletoe, and having some trouble with the decorations including too much tinsel and the rather large tree. They didn’t have to wonder what was for dinner though, as they were all going to have a big turkey, if they could fit it in the oven.

Also featuring were a few repeats of some memorable sketches (including Cuthbert having some trouble with a vacuum cleaner), along with a compilation of some of the funniest moments over the years. Each edition of Zzzap! Christmas Annual was only about ten minutes long, and there were only five made, four in 1996, and one in 1997, but there were no more after this, even though the show continued until 2001. This was rather disappointing, as these specials contained the usual amount of silliness.

The YouTube Files – Christmas With Carlton.

Christmas With Carlton (ITV, 1997)

Well would you believe it, we have a very late entry for this series, as another video that fits all the criteria was uploaded only a day or two ago. So let’s go to the Carlton region (no, come back, it’s worth reading) on 25 December 1997 (a Thursday), courtesy of “Coldclough” on YouTube. There’s plenty of adverts and continuity worth reviewing here, and as ever here are the highlights. 

The first breaks are during the evening premiere of Home Alone 2, and once again, there are plenty of sale adverts. Among them are Allders, Harveys, and DFS (just before their advert appeared in every break on Christmas Day). The highlight of them all has to be the one for Courts with Bruce Forsyth, informing us of their great savings, so be there on Boxing Day, it’ll be a cracker. 

Among the few non-sale adverts are SpiceWorld: The Movie. I saw this once, and I still don’t think I’ve ever recovered. There is also an advert for M & M’s that is still being shown on TV this year, and it’s now so old it’s been cropped and looks all blurry and horrible, and also plenty of fancy adverts for Daewoo. The film (which was sponsored by a bag of Doritos) then comes to an end. 

There is then a promotion for a competition. If you want more information you can look on Teletext, and it ends with the ITV symbol rather awkwardly turned into a Christmas tree. It also features a website address, which looks a little odd alongside a symbol that was introduced in 1989, which makes you realise how long it was used for (it was finally retired from the screen a year later in 1998). 

Then there’s a trail for entertainment coming to Carlton in 1998, including The Brit Awards, and, er, Babewatch. The time is almost 9:45pm and Starting Blocks is next. Then there’s a trail for what is coming later tonight, followed by a nice Christmas Carlton ident (these were also used in 1996 and 1998), which featured things such as the “O” turning into a bauble or a snowman. 

Starting Blocks (sponsored by Panasonic) was a one-off show looking back at sportspeople before they were famous that was hosted by Chris Tarrant. There are then even more sale adverts, including one for Uno with the guy off Auf Wiedersehen, Pet (I thought he would’ve preferred to be on Tyne Tees!). Then there’s a trail for McCallum, and next is The Bare Necessities. 

There is also a promotion for Christmas Line (still featuring the reindeer character as late as this), supported by Carlton, LWT (Carlton had better relations with LWT than Thames did), and Capital Gold (instead of Capital FM), which is voiced by Chris Tarrant (is this the best work that he could get in the year before Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?). Then there’s a trail for a terrible-looking drama on New Year’s Eve, before another Carlton ident going into comedy-drama (and what appears to be a knock-off of The Full Monty) The Bear Necessities, at which point the video ends. 

I’ll be back with a review of the year soon. Until then… Happy Christmas!

The YouTube Files – Christmas With Meridian.

Christmas With Meridian (ITV, 1999)

This review will probably be the last in the series, but it’s another look back at a bumper-sized continuity clip from ITV on Christmas Day (to make up for it I might go on to review some clips from Boxing Day or New Year’s Eve soon). We’re off to the Meridian region on 25 December 1999, almost 20 years ago now which is rather hard to believe. This video was uploaded by “Coldclough” to YouTube, and here are some of the highlights. 

Well I was hoping that the breaks would contain some frequently repeated low-budget local sale adverts, and I wasn’t let down. Although there were plenty for the likes of Homebase, Magnet, PC World, and so on, one that stood out to me was for Landmark that featured a Tony Slattery lookalike getting rather overexcited by their prices. Also being rather old school were Reading Wholesale (no fancy music for them) along with their price promise. 

There are also plenty of computer adverts, including Intel who have everything you need for a great internet experience, and Tiny. Also featuring is the famous Werther’s Original “now I’m the granddad” advert (which I don’t remember running as late as this), featuring uncommonly good butter-candy. And yes, there is also the DFS sale, featuring “More More More” (what an unusual choice of song). 

This video comes from about a month or two after the launch of the second ITV corporate era (and also from the early days of Digital TV, but I don’t think that many people had an OnDigital box at that point). After A Touch Of Frost ends, there’s a preview of the next episode, followed by a rather complicated Yorkshire endcap, and also a trail for the next series of London’s Burning that’s coming soon to ITV. 

Then there’s a brief promotion for “Spirit Of The South”, a slogan that had been used ever since the launch of Meridian at the beginning of 1993, featuring the excitement of ice hockey players in Basingstoke. After a trail for Bank Holiday Monday, we then get a heart-filled generic Meridian ident (not sure who the out-of-vision announcer is). It seems that it isn’t a special Christmas variation, and it reminded me that LWT thought that these we so dull by comparison to their previous looks they dropped them after a few months. 

The ident is introducing Who Wants To Milk A Franchise To Death… er, I mean Who Wants To Be A Christmas Millionaire with Chris Tarrant (sponsored by Jacob’s Twiglets), which was at the peak of its popularity as this point and was returning for its third edition of the evening. Jim from Beckenham is in the chair. Just who is the comedian with the chunky glasses? It’s for £8,000. However, this is the point where the video comes to an end. 

The YouTube Files – Christmas With Central.

Christmas With Central (ITV, 1988)

Let’s continue this look at what some of the ITV regions had to offer viewers on Christmas Day in the 80s. It is about 3:55pm on 25 December 1988 (a Sunday) in the Central region and they are about to show the premiere of The Empire Strikes Back, although I personally don’t have much interest in the Star Wars films. To see what adverts and continuity featured, thanks goes to “thesearethedays” on YouTube, and here are some of the highlights.

We begin with the Central ident. In-vision announcers had long-gone from this region by this point, to be replaced by the fancy computer-generated “cake” symbol which would be used for almost a decade more until 1998. This isn’t a special Christmas variation though. As Central is one of the bigger ITV regions, I imagine that they won’t have much trouble filling their breaks, especially during a much anticipated film like this!

Will there be any epics? Well, adverts include Kaliber with Billy Connolly, Scotch VHS tapes, and a McDonald’s advert featuring the man himself Ronald! And yes, there are some sale adverts. These include MFI, but you’ll have to wait to grab the bargains until Boxing Day. We also get a Ronald-free McDonald’s advert, another one to feature a pre-fame Denise Van Outen if I remember correctly. 

One advert that really brings back memories is for Quavers, featuring Colin, who likes all of the curly flavours. Whoever thought that bacon flavour Quavers would catch on though. Whilst watching these breaks I was rather surprised by the lack of Enn Reitel, as based on most of the videos that I’ve seen online he seemed to voice every other advert on TV around this time. 

Then there’s a great advert for Philips. Having helped to develop the sound quality of the CD, they have decided to go one better and add pictures too. This means that when you want to watch the video for “Misfit” by Curiosity Killed The Cat (directed by Andy Warhol, fact fans), Ben will jump out of the screen and be in the room with you! That’s modern technology. 

And then, we’ve waited a long time for it, but there’s an advert for the DFS sale! Everything is just £129 it seems. Sale starts 10am Boxing Day, ends probably around mid-June. There are also adverts for sales at Allied, Dudleys, the excitement of The Holiday And Travel Fair ’89, and a memorable one for KitKat with a pop group that are not very good… they’ll go a long way! 

Then after The Empire Strikes Back ends (or the credits are cut off at least), when get an animated Central endcap (also used on various shows at the time including Bullseye), followed by a trail for Boxing Day’s James Bond film Octopussy, featuring the cake in a nice Christmas scene. Adverts include Brooke Bond with what appears to be John “Boycie” Challis (without a moustache?), an annoying Walkers advert, and Texas’s end-of-year sell out. Then as we start to go into the evening, the video ends. Merry Christmas! 

The YouTube Files – Christmas With LWT.

Christmas With LWT (ITV, 1987)

This is a look back at what another ITV region had to offer on Christmas Day in the 80s. Having looked back at Thames, I thought that I would review some adverts and continuity shown on LWT. Now of course, this region didn’t get many opportunities to be on air at Christmas, and as 25 December 1987 was a Friday, they only had about half the day. The clips are from various people on YouTube including “dunebasher1981”, and here are some of the highlights.

Although I wasn’t going to review Thames again, I do want to point out that the first in-vision announcement after the end of TV-am at 9:25am is also online, and it features Philip Elsmore who begins “Ho-ho-ho! Well you can tell that I’m in a good mood!”. We then go on to the afternoon film Bedknobs And Broomsticks which began at 4:35pm, which means that the usual Thames/LWT handover at around 5:15pm happened during the film. 

So as the third break during Bedknobs And Broomsticks is the first to be shown on LWT, let’s start there. It’s a Friday evening, and there will be lots of people watching, is there anything fancy on offer. Well there’s an advert for McDonald’s, but Ronald doesn’t feature. And of course, there are lots of sale adverts including World Of Leather and Selfridges, where there are millions of bargains to bag (starts Monday!), and we also have a weird advert for Alka-Seltzer and meet the Oxo family who are all having a good time. 

After skipping past Blind Date, we then go to the next clip, which features the end of Coronation Street. This is a famous episode as it is the final one to feature Hilda Odgen. It is also significant because it was the first time that three episodes had been shown in a week, it was the highest-rating episode ever, and it was also the first to be shown on LWT. So we get the views of the out-of-vision announcer Peter Lewis (“what an emotional moment”). 

Then we have a trail for Boxing Day (LWT have that day all to themselves as it’s a Saturday), including The Sleeping Beauty, Bobby Davro’s TV Annual ’88 (featuring Davro as various pop stars in a parody of ITV’s music show The Roxy as The Poxy, how marvellous), the TV premiere of Ghostbusters, and Dame Edna’s Christmas Experience. Next is It’ll Be Alright On Christmas Night (later repackaged for repeats as It’ll Be Alright On The Night 5) where there will be plenty of cock-ups guaranteed. 

We then have more adverts including a rather bad one for Wimpy, plus a promotion for Christmas Line (“open when London closes”). Bobby Davro then returns accompanied by some nice graphics to kindly wish all LWT viewers a Merry Christmas (I thought his shows were made by TVS?). Adverts in It’ll Be Alright On Christmas Night (when there were only two breaks in hour-long shows) include Courts, who are having their biggest-ever sale (aren’t they always). 

There are also adverts for tobacco, Heineken featuring a young Harry Enfield, and the news that you can do it when you B & Q it. It’s now coming up to 9pm and a new episode of Inspector Morse is next, but before that, there’s another trail for Ghostbusters (being shown on TV for the first time, honest) and Dame Edna’s Christmas Experience, plus adverts for the AA and Radio Rentals, before another Christmas Line plug, Arthur Daley wishes us a Happy Christmas, and then the video comes to an end.